I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
