Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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