Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
