Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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