I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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