he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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