The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
