Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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