remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize