Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
