he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
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Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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