i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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