She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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