any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
