Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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