he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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