Who wears a wallet chain?!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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