I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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