Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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