I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
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