It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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