I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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