worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
