Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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