Pappa wants mamma naked
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
