Your tits are I can't wait for
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
