STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If that was your dad, he is hot
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
