I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
