Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
