last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize