My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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