If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
