idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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