First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
ttyl tear gas
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
