Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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