i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize