we have pet lesbian snakes
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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