the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
