Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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