Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He felt like a one man threesome
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
