I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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