I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
