it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
