What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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