I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot