so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE