ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
