pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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