Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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