So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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