He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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