i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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