Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
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you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We have so much sex to catch up on
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
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I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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