Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize