Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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