You really coming over, don't trick.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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