just come out here and I will go home with you...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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