fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
