i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
