that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
